Wednesday, July 27, 2016
A Response to Her Intuition
I pray that she's not listening
I know she hears me whispering
I pray that she's not interested.
I fear she feels me distancing.
Can't avoid the inevitable
Effort still shows
Question do form with no answers
She hopes lips will lie to kill doubts in her mind
Her intuition is tied to see fear in my eyes
I brace impact with time
Cover my eyes with shades blocking my lies
She then touches my face
To feel pulse and its high.
Lost in my mind
I see fate has been sealed
I know I fear the worst
I can't keep her and heal
Why I shake up a home
Where trust hasn't been built
Fathered an image that resembled her fears
Of her father who had cheated on mother
These wounds still haven't healed.
But she drew out her plan
Perfect in theory I say
Sketched out flaws of her mother to be the perfect woman today
The only thing is the crown becomes too heavy when the king is nowhere to be found
So her anger and her doubts trade off for her happiness right now.
I look in the mirror to see where her happiness could be found
I'm the magician with the elixir
Watch me cure her unhappiness that pours out
Puddle of tears waiting on me to come home without Becky's scent on my crown.
I assess my inner demons
Pray that Jesus fixes them right now
Eviscerate every incident of doubt
Pull hare out of hat
To symbolize that we are hopping over this mound
I was never a prefect man to a woman that did everything
To show me her perfect plan.
Just like boy who has broken his toys
I attempt to replace her with another voice.
As man I rather stitch open sores
Fix her distorted voice
Gain trust that was no more
Find stability in a world full of chaos
Attempting to distract ones ploy
To share a love that sings forever more.
Dinner is Served
She hates when I'm whiskey down, but water never does the trick..
Sick and tired of my lies, but feeding them is what she gets
She fades away into her mind where no one else can exist.
Alone she is at home, not answering the phone. Sitting at her thrown
I'm her incomplete thought
To her complete plan
A distract to her goals
A wrinkle in her starched pants
I'm inconsiderate to her mind
So her mind has voided me out of vision plan
Physically she smiles at me
but mental she's plotting to be a widow to her man
Unaware of her thoughts
I continue to live as planned
Get off work and get faded
In to a glass of Jameson
I begin wailing out a verbal assaults
When I see dinner not go as planned
She simply sees this as her time to get the upper hand
She tells me, "Sweetie I'm sorry I didn't know the chicken was overcooked".
Three pieces in and I'm wondering what's that funny taste that I'm trying to overlook
Slowly I black out and notice that same smile she gave me before she cooked
An array thoughts came to mind
But none were a complete thought to this plot twist she took.
Sick and tired of my lies, but feeding them is what she gets
She fades away into her mind where no one else can exist.
Alone she is at home, not answering the phone. Sitting at her thrown
I'm her incomplete thought
To her complete plan
A distract to her goals
A wrinkle in her starched pants
I'm inconsiderate to her mind
So her mind has voided me out of vision plan
Physically she smiles at me
but mental she's plotting to be a widow to her man
Unaware of her thoughts
I continue to live as planned
Get off work and get faded
In to a glass of Jameson
I begin wailing out a verbal assaults
When I see dinner not go as planned
She simply sees this as her time to get the upper hand
She tells me, "Sweetie I'm sorry I didn't know the chicken was overcooked".
Three pieces in and I'm wondering what's that funny taste that I'm trying to overlook
Slowly I black out and notice that same smile she gave me before she cooked
An array thoughts came to mind
But none were a complete thought to this plot twist she took.
#BlackLivesMatter
The idea of being immobile is to say you are safe. Just like dogs we as humans are to obey and when we don't obey we are punished in some fashion.
Take this idea. Start with a liter of dogs. Line them up cutest to ugliest. Begin to train dogs on how to sit and obey there master. When the dog doesn't follow a direct order you use some form of discipline. You begin to notice you will discipline each dog different, particularly because you see each dog differently. You view the cutest one as non-harmful or unaware of there actions because you think that there cuteness is so over powering that you don't cause a fuss about what they do. The ugliest dog you don't care for. You discipline it as harsh as you can because you demand them to obey and if they don't you are going to make them obey. Making someone obey is saying they have to submit to the idea that you are in the right regardless of your actions. Arguing back or barking will only submit the ugly dog to more discipline.
Now apply this same idea to humans. If society views me as non-compliant and vocal then I am not obeying. Which then subjects me to harsh forms of discipline. If I have a voice, how ever big or small, you can't control that. And to lose that control over my voice is to say in your eyes I must be silenced.
Find peace in knowing you have that right to speak. Find justice in knowing if silenced others will speak for you.
Take this idea. Start with a liter of dogs. Line them up cutest to ugliest. Begin to train dogs on how to sit and obey there master. When the dog doesn't follow a direct order you use some form of discipline. You begin to notice you will discipline each dog different, particularly because you see each dog differently. You view the cutest one as non-harmful or unaware of there actions because you think that there cuteness is so over powering that you don't cause a fuss about what they do. The ugliest dog you don't care for. You discipline it as harsh as you can because you demand them to obey and if they don't you are going to make them obey. Making someone obey is saying they have to submit to the idea that you are in the right regardless of your actions. Arguing back or barking will only submit the ugly dog to more discipline.
Now apply this same idea to humans. If society views me as non-compliant and vocal then I am not obeying. Which then subjects me to harsh forms of discipline. If I have a voice, how ever big or small, you can't control that. And to lose that control over my voice is to say in your eyes I must be silenced.
Find peace in knowing you have that right to speak. Find justice in knowing if silenced others will speak for you.
A Love Between 5 and 7
There are days where me and my lover live between 5 and 7.
There are days where she lives with her husband between 7 to 3.
No matter the time we balance our lives with the lives of our mutual needs
My lover. She struggles between 7 and 3 with the beauty of all she can be.
Uncovered my lover is calmed with my presence.
And with her I'm a boy befuddled with a love
more exciting then hanging ornaments on a Christmas tree.
In America, we only know relationships between 1 to 2.
We never think about the relationship between 2 to 3.
And if 3 had 4, just to even the score.
Can we find the cohesiveness we seek?
As a man rebirthing the joys of the boy
Who found love in the beauty of a brain that can speak.
With one knee I risk all the rules that were set
Just to ask "Will you marry me?"
At first there was a rush of excitement in speech.
Cupid sprung his little arrow in our hands intertwined in the leaves.
But that glee turned to sorrow as words went into retreat
I died with the changing of colors in leaves surrounding my knee.
As a boy I never learned how to manage a love so unique.
There are days where she lives with her husband between 7 to 3.
No matter the time we balance our lives with the lives of our mutual needs
My lover. She struggles between 7 and 3 with the beauty of all she can be.
Uncovered my lover is calmed with my presence.
And with her I'm a boy befuddled with a love
more exciting then hanging ornaments on a Christmas tree.
In America, we only know relationships between 1 to 2.
We never think about the relationship between 2 to 3.
And if 3 had 4, just to even the score.
Can we find the cohesiveness we seek?
As a man rebirthing the joys of the boy
Who found love in the beauty of a brain that can speak.
With one knee I risk all the rules that were set
Just to ask "Will you marry me?"
At first there was a rush of excitement in speech.
Cupid sprung his little arrow in our hands intertwined in the leaves.
But that glee turned to sorrow as words went into retreat
I died with the changing of colors in leaves surrounding my knee.
As a boy I never learned how to manage a love so unique.
Saturday, July 23, 2016
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